Reliable Source: Failure, Confusion And Death

Localised Man Gives Clear Warning to Wife

Local occupant Joel Alexander is trying something new after inalterable yr's disastrous gaming flavour. He's taken a restraining order out against his wife and children in hopes that he wish live able to swordplay through the overabundance of games scheduled for this vacation season.

"I did this because last class was simply a flock," said the 35 year yellow direct and father of two. "I had barely gotten out of Megaton when my youngest daughter needed help with her homework. But this year things will be different. I have stocked my study with preserved food, bottled water, dry rations, and a chemical privy. I expect to penetrate the 10-15 games this overwinter without omissible or interruption. I know the children will miss their father, simply I'd look-alike to assure them that IT's all for the best."

In the close the joke Crataegus oxycantha get on Joel, since many of the games he was expecting to play have been delayed until next year.

Activision Boss Ground Bewildered

The head of Activision, Bobby Kotick, was found wandering the streets of Prague intonation in some old language after a recent press conference where he gave a speech about how people like sequels and almost nobody likes new fresh, ideas.

When asked by reporters how helium could say much vile, despicable things, Kotick boomed in an unearthly voice "I am commanded to serve my lord and captain M'gathagadon the bringer of eternal darkness. I must obey!"

"That explains information technology," said a senior editor at Reliable Source, World Health Organization, completely disgusted demonically insane CEOs qualification huge generalizations just to milk their tenuous celebrity position, had a truly good lunch followed aside a couple drinks with a friend and didn't suppose close to Bobby Kotick for a week.

Man Launch Executed of Multi-media Overexposure

Ryan O'Connell was found departed happening the floor of his apartment along Wednesday by a neighbor. The neighbor found the 24 year old absolutely happening the floor of his kitchen, apparently attempting to dial 911 after suffering an overdose of technology.

"It appears that the dupe was attempting to watch his HDTV, play PS3, listen to an iPod, while in a conference call with his EVE Online guild and twittering about the length of his mamilla hair, wholly spell trying to hold six exigent courier conversations," said lead investigator Lt. Daniel Wellings. "There are limits to how far you can push your brain until IT explodes. Ryan is just another casualty in the organic process routine of media overexposure deaths each year."

We at Reliable Reservoir have obtained a copy of Ryan's ultimate wrangle to a close supporter atomic number 2 met just moments before his death:
Elana69: Hey sexy I saw your visibility and thought process you were passionate.
xxKiller_Conner: Lawl!
Elana69: You should check out my webcam.
xxKiller_Conner: Wut? Are you a fatty?
Elana69: My friends and I are waiting!
xxKiller_Conner: I tactile property lightheaded. Is the humans spinning to you too?
Elana69: Click here if you want to see me get naked.
xxKiller_Conner: fhsk;4ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt…
Elana69: What are you waiting for? Wanted aphrodisiac girls are just a click out!

Wolfenstein Multiplayer Team Bestowed the Gift of Unemployment

Raven Software followed America's Army's example on Tuesday when they gave an extended holiday to their multiplayer developers, Endrant Studios, on the day the game was released.

"In now's fickle economy we thought information technology was best to offer the team that sweated blood and tears to get this game out on time the constancy and security that only comes with beingness unemployed. No yearner ut they give birth to worry about things like coming in to work or cashing those annoying monthly paychecks."

Still, things are good for the Endrant team considering Nintendo ordered their employees World Health Organization worked on the Virtual Boy to committing religious ceremony suicide by disembowelment.

Xbox360 54.2% Failure Rate

Microsoft revealed this Friday that 54.2% Xbox360 owners had failed to the right way care for their machines. The report comes merely days subsequently an independent hit the books from Game Informer that alleged the machine had some variety of intrinsical flaw that caused the simple machine to betray.

One of Microsoft's experts, Rodney Richardson, had this to say on the misunderstanding:

"Information technology's key that Xbox360 consumers know our machine is a delicate piece of technology and is not meant to be treated the likes of a flirt. Special care and handling must be taken if you have a bun in the oven to get the laden life proscribed of your 360. Single of the most important tips I keister give Xbox owners is to never use it in ways information technology wasn't meant to be used. Connecting to the net or playing games bottom causa defects. I bed information technology seems like common sense but even turning it on may damage the machine irreparably. If you do, you are taking a very serious risk with this highly sensitive equipment and May cost elimination the warranty."

https://www.escapistmagazine.com/reliable-source-failure-confusion-and-death/

Source: https://www.escapistmagazine.com/reliable-source-failure-confusion-and-death/

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